To my future husband (part 2)

Hey pals, I wrote a post a while ago writing to my future husband and part of it included me thanking him for accepting and loving my imperfection. Here are some things my husband would have to deal with (if I don't get over these stupid things by the time this happens) :

Dear future husband,

I'm such a crier in movies. 
Whether it's happy or sad, I'll most likely shed more than a tear or two. I become so emotionally and mentally attached to characters, it's scary. I try to relate myself to certain characters but sometimes I can't, and just knowing that the mere thought of their joy and/or pain can trigger me. I get easily moved, which can be annoying and overwhelming, and I'm so sorry that you are going to put up with that. Just a heads up, the movies that really get to me are Dirty Dancing, Love Actually, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Vow, Finding Dory, and The Fox and The Hound...well, those are only a sliver of movies that come to mind. I'm sorry.

I'm really bad at maintaining a clean space.
Don't worry, I'll probably hate myself about it more than you will. I will seriously spend half an hour cleaning my room, be completely satisfied, and then ruin it over the course of three days. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. I see the organized space and I realize how much space I have and therefore automatically put objects in that new space, and all of a sudden I have two years worth of old magazines that I haven't read in five years piling up on my desk next to my pens and makeup brushes. I don't know how to fix this, because it's a real problem. Then I start to lose things and I'll ask you where everything is and you probably won't know because I'm the last one who saw it anyway. Sorry.

I'm lowkey needy.
The key word is "lowkey". I'm not the type that needs you by my side 24/7 because that's just excessive. But I am the type to randomly need your interaction and affection at the most obscure, and probably inconvenient, times. I also tend to compare myself to people and think about all the stupid things I've done, and therefore my esteem hits rock bottom, so I wouldn't mind some random reassurance every now and then. But I will probably ever rarely admit those vulnerable moments. The best part of this whole process is that I get in denial about it because I hate admitting my neediness. It's so gross. Sorry.

I laugh at inappropriate times.
It's actually so horrible. Timing is never my friend. Luckily, I haven't laughed during a eulogy or anything too serious. Ok I'm just leave this here. Sorry.

I'm bad at making small decisions.
I tend to make decisions without giving it a second thought. For example, I have been online shopping for make up, but I am a college student. College student equates with broke, yet I just buy stuff anyway! I don't know why! I also change my mind with other small decisions I make. It's funny, on the Myers-Briggs test, one of the statements says "The best decision can always be changed" or something like that and slowly I've been realizing that there's no other phrase that best describes my thought process. It also takes me a while to make decision. I always have to know where we're eating beforehand unless you wanna wait an extra twenty minutes while ordering. Never ask me what movie I wanna watch unless you wanna see Dirty Dancing for the thirtieth time because it's simply a default and I'm always down to watch it. Sorry. Actually, not for that last sentence though. Never that last sentence.

I use gestures a lot. 
This isn't really a bad thing, but I'm super paranoid about it. I tilt my head back when I laugh and sometimes I clap if something is super funny. Sometimes I just make random, sudden movements for no reason and I end up looking like a fool. My favorite is when I do dance moves and I think I look cool but I actually look like a three legged horse trying to jump hurdles. I guess that last one isn't much of a gesture rather than an overall movement. Sorry.

I second guess myself/keep quiet when I know I'm 100% right.
This is a habit that I honestly think I'll never get over because I'm a passive and sensitive load of crap. I vividly remember that one time when I was in the fourth grade we were reading out loud and I had to read "colonel" and I knew it was pronounced like "ker-nel" but guess who read it as "co-lo-nel"? It was me! Because I thought that other people would think I was showing off! Why did I think this? I have no idea!! I'm a load of crap. I absolutely hate when someone says the right answer in class when it was my immediate thought after the question was said, but I just second guess myself like no other. Maybe it's because I'm wrong 40% of the time, and when I'm wrong that's when I usually say it out loud like an idiot. I just get scared, that's all. Sorry.

I'm bad at directing myself to people when I talk.
I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. Or maybe it's everyone else around me? My voice is pretty loud so one shouldn't assume that I'm not talking to them because sometimes I would literally add to their conversation. C'mon people, I'm not a little fly buzzing around your ear, ya know! Initially, I'm annoyed with the person that isn't listening to me, but then I just get super paranoid. Why don't people listen to me? Why can't I be taken seriously? Sorry.