a letter to my freshman self

as i'm going into my senior year, i wanted to look back at the last three years to see how i've changed and what i've learned. maybe i can keep myself from making some of the same mistakes this year. obviously, there are a lot of things i wish i would have done differently freshmen year. lots of things i didn't know. here's a little bit of what i'd tell me.

Dear C,

Welcome to the insanity that is high school. It’s your first year ever in a public school (!!!). This year you will meet good people, and bad people, and okay people. All these people will change your life. 

Your science teacher will always have your back. Your favorite memories are in his class.

Your worst memories are in choir (aka the class from HELL).

Your math teacher will make you cry, but it’s not your fault, and you’ll realize that much later. He was an the biggest jerkface ever ever ever. You’re not stupid. Don’t hang on to this awful lie! Math will be one of your best subjects in a few years, even though you’ll have to start from scratch. ((not SAT math tho yikes lmao))

You’ll try to convince yourself that football games are fun, but you should quit that, because they aren’t fun. Watching football is not entertaining at all.

You’ll find out how much you love the stars and how big the universe is.

Someone will tell you that you’re short. For some reason you didn’t know this until then and it will be a huge shock.

You’ll get locked out of the locker room and be forced to play soccer in a dress and you’ll feel miserable, but you will laugh about it later. By the way, this dress is very ugly. Stop wearing it.

Accept that you’ll make stupid, stupid mistakes over the next three years (and for the rest of your life), and accept that it’s okay. You’re younger than you realize. There is always something to learn!

There will be boys, and they will hurt you, and you’ll think that this pain will last forever but you’re wrong. You will heal.

There will be lots of arguments and you will lose friends, almost all of them. But the ones that really love you will never leave.

Don’t eat so many chicken nuggets. Who am I kidding eat all the nugs. But stop hiding in giant sweat shirts. Get rid of the glitter perfume. Stay away from drama. Double knot your shoelaces before every race. When you slap him, do it harder. Say “no.” Say “NO.” Stop feeling bad that you told on someone who made you feel uncomfortable. Eventually you’ll know that you did the right thing.

Be proud of yourself.

PS, the world does not end in 2012.