Hey pals, I wrote a post a while ago writing to my future husband and part of it included me thanking him for accepting and loving my imperfection. Here are some things my husband would have to deal with (if I don't get over these stupid things by the time this happens) :
Dear future husband,
I'm such a crier in movies.
Whether it's happy or sad, I'll most likely shed more than a tear or two. I become so emotionally and mentally attached to characters, it's scary. I try to relate myself to certain characters but sometimes I can't, and just knowing that the mere thought of their joy and/or pain can trigger me. I get easily moved, which can be annoying and overwhelming, and I'm so sorry that you are going to put up with that. Just a heads up, the movies that really get to me are Dirty Dancing, Love Actually, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Vow, Finding Dory, and The Fox and The Hound...well, those are only a sliver of movies that come to mind. I'm sorry.
I'm really bad at maintaining a clean space.
Don't worry, I'll probably hate myself about it more than you will. I will seriously spend half an hour cleaning my room, be completely satisfied, and then ruin it over the course of three days. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. I see the organized space and I realize how much space I have and therefore automatically put objects in that new space, and all of a sudden I have two years worth of old magazines that I haven't read in five years piling up on my desk next to my pens and makeup brushes. I don't know how to fix this, because it's a real problem. Then I start to lose things and I'll ask you where everything is and you probably won't know because I'm the last one who saw it anyway. Sorry.
I'm lowkey needy.
The key word is "lowkey". I'm not the type that needs you by my side 24/7 because that's just excessive. But I am the type to randomly need your interaction and affection at the most obscure, and probably inconvenient, times. I also tend to compare myself to people and think about all the stupid things I've done, and therefore my esteem hits rock bottom, so I wouldn't mind some random reassurance every now and then. But I will probably ever rarely admit those vulnerable moments. The best part of this whole process is that I get in denial about it because I hate admitting my neediness. It's so gross. Sorry.
I laugh at inappropriate times.
It's actually so horrible. Timing is never my friend. Luckily, I haven't laughed during a eulogy or anything too serious. Ok I'm just leave this here. Sorry.
I'm bad at making small decisions.
I tend to make decisions without giving it a second thought. For example, I have been online shopping for make up, but I am a college student. College student equates with broke, yet I just buy stuff anyway! I don't know why! I also change my mind with other small decisions I make. It's funny, on the Myers-Briggs test, one of the statements says "The best decision can always be changed" or something like that and slowly I've been realizing that there's no other phrase that best describes my thought process. It also takes me a while to make decision. I always have to know where we're eating beforehand unless you wanna wait an extra twenty minutes while ordering. Never ask me what movie I wanna watch unless you wanna see Dirty Dancing for the thirtieth time because it's simply a default and I'm always down to watch it. Sorry. Actually, not for that last sentence though. Never that last sentence.
I use gestures a lot.
This isn't really a bad thing, but I'm super paranoid about it. I tilt my head back when I laugh and sometimes I clap if something is super funny. Sometimes I just make random, sudden movements for no reason and I end up looking like a fool. My favorite is when I do dance moves and I think I look cool but I actually look like a three legged horse trying to jump hurdles. I guess that last one isn't much of a gesture rather than an overall movement. Sorry.
I second guess myself/keep quiet when I know I'm 100% right.
This is a habit that I honestly think I'll never get over because I'm a passive and sensitive load of crap. I vividly remember that one time when I was in the fourth grade we were reading out loud and I had to read "colonel" and I knew it was pronounced like "ker-nel" but guess who read it as "co-lo-nel"? It was me! Because I thought that other people would think I was showing off! Why did I think this? I have no idea!! I'm a load of crap. I absolutely hate when someone says the right answer in class when it was my immediate thought after the question was said, but I just second guess myself like no other. Maybe it's because I'm wrong 40% of the time, and when I'm wrong that's when I usually say it out loud like an idiot. I just get scared, that's all. Sorry.
I'm bad at directing myself to people when I talk.
I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. Or maybe it's everyone else around me? My voice is pretty loud so one shouldn't assume that I'm not talking to them because sometimes I would literally add to their conversation. C'mon people, I'm not a little fly buzzing around your ear, ya know! Initially, I'm annoyed with the person that isn't listening to me, but then I just get super paranoid. Why don't people listen to me? Why can't I be taken seriously? Sorry.
Saturday, September 24, 2016
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
from august to august: a photo essay
8/26/15
8/26/15
Amsterdam
8/27/15
Holland
9/1/15 - 9/7/15
The Refugee Crisis in Keleti Pályaudvar
Budapest (pronounced Buda-pesht
10/26/15
Sea of Galilee
10/26/15
Near the Dead Sea
10/25/15
Dome of the Rock
10/28/16
Israel
1/3/16
Pike Place Market
1/12/16
Seattle, Washington
3/30/16
Gypsy village in Romania
5/16/16
Piran, Slovenia
From here, you can stand in the Adriatic Sea and see both Croatia and Italy.
5/16/16
Velenje, Slovenia
8/30/16
Home.
(Vajta tah
Sunday, September 4, 2016
Camp Rock (your socks off for Jesus)!!!!! - finished 14 months later
Hello, friends! It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, you can stop your crying, because I have returned from my hiatus.
I'm kidding. You know, about the crying part. Anyway, you're probably wondering what my title is about. Isn't it obvious? Camp Rock your socks off for Jesus! Kind of. Not really.
On Sunday, I will be heading on over to the mountains with 125 of my closest friends for an annual church retreat. I'll be gone for about five days and four nights, but I will try to make a post-camp post. Am I excited? Heck yeah. Why do you think I'd write a blog post about it if I wasn't excited? And since I'm SOOOO excited, I'm going to tell all five of you (six, maybe) everything there is about camp.
Pretend you're the camper. You drive up to church and head on over to the camp registration table. There you'll meet the camp staff (which is usually the older youth leaders, the ones that are around their mid-20s), receive your team, team shirt, and name tag. Teams, you ask?
- 14 months later -
So I never finished this post... I'm just going to post it for the sake of posting it. I promise I'll write more, but as of right now I'm not finishing what I was previously talking about, sorry bout it.
As you can see, I'm an avid procrastinator. That will definitely be an issue once college starts. I'm currently typing this on my phone, so I'm just going to leave it like this. I will make an effort to post more, this is just a kick off from my hiatus! Lol I suck okay bye
- Alexa
So I never finished this post... I'm just going to post it for the sake of posting it. I promise I'll write more, but as of right now I'm not finishing what I was previously talking about, sorry bout it.
As you can see, I'm an avid procrastinator. That will definitely be an issue once college starts. I'm currently typing this on my phone, so I'm just going to leave it like this. I will make an effort to post more, this is just a kick off from my hiatus! Lol I suck okay bye
- Alexa
My inner globetrotter (Part 4)
Yeah it's been a while. I'm sad to see this little series go. Hopefully I'll update them/actually cross them off.
Europe
-Take the Warner Bros. Harry Potter Studio Tour. This may or may not be geared towards me and other Harry Potter fans. It would be a dream come true.
-Visit the Roman Baths. I wonder how the water would look if I dropped a Lush bath bomb in it...but in all seriousness, this site is filled with history and architecture, and it absolutely amazes me to see what the Romans established. I've always been interested in ancient Roman architecture because everything was so grand and complex but it was simple in terms of material, and the fact that structures like the Baths are still beautiful and resilient goes to show how pivotal the architecture was in ancient Rome.
-Draw in Jardin de Claude Monet. Please don't take me as some pretentious French-speaking wannabe. I tried to learn on Duolingo but it didn't work out. Anyway, I have a long list on my notes of gardens around the world, some of which include the Kew Garden, Orto Botanico di Padova, and Keukenhof Tulip Garden. But the one that stuck out the most was Monet's Garden in Giverny. Known as a "painter's garden", this collection of plants leaves it's visitors awestruck with it's beauty. During Monet's time this was not open to the public, but as time passed it grew to be open to appreciators of Impressionism, lovers of botany, and many more. Once you're engulfed in the charm of the colors and fragrances, one can't help but be inspired by the living artwork around them. Apparently, it's allowed to sit along a path and draw to your heart's content, but don't bring paint materials because access is denied to those who have that.
-Admire Gaudi's architecture. Antoni Gaudi's structures are all around Barcelona and his neo-Gothic style is not something one would miss. His most notable work is the Sagrada Familia (yes, the one from The Cheetah Girls 2). Again, architecture is something that intrigues me because of all the thought that goes into structures that are larger than life, but still has intense stylistic influences. Looking at Gaudi's different works such as Casa Batllo, Park Guell (also seen in The Cheetah Girls 2), and Casa Mila leaves me amazed with the creative minds of such architectural geniuses. Besides looking at the gorgeous structures, it makes you think of all the history behind each piece and makes you wonder about Gaudi's muse(s) of his works.
-Island hop in Greece. What can I say, I'm a sucker for beaches. Obviously I would visit the tourist staples such as Santorini and Mykonos, with their infamous white houses with colorful rooftops and doorways. But the attractions that don't get as much attention, such as Red Beach, Akrotiri, and Delos are places that I feel would be a good Instagram post as well. Red Beach has red rock all around it due to the volcanic cliff, and on the south side of the beach, there's black sand (!!!) and Akrotiri and Delos are some withstanding ruins that leaves it's tourists in awe of the sturdy Greek architecture. Other than Santorini and Mykonos the lesser known islands, such as Paros and Corfu, are on my destination list as well. Paros isn't as busy as the main touristy islands, but is still filled with natural beauty, which makes it ideal for relaxing and Corfu is absolutely gorgeous filled with museums and an abundance of green scenery. Hopefully during my visit here I'll stumble upon a big fat Greek wedding.
Europe
-Take the Warner Bros. Harry Potter Studio Tour. This may or may not be geared towards me and other Harry Potter fans. It would be a dream come true.
-Visit the Roman Baths. I wonder how the water would look if I dropped a Lush bath bomb in it...but in all seriousness, this site is filled with history and architecture, and it absolutely amazes me to see what the Romans established. I've always been interested in ancient Roman architecture because everything was so grand and complex but it was simple in terms of material, and the fact that structures like the Baths are still beautiful and resilient goes to show how pivotal the architecture was in ancient Rome.
-Draw in Jardin de Claude Monet. Please don't take me as some pretentious French-speaking wannabe. I tried to learn on Duolingo but it didn't work out. Anyway, I have a long list on my notes of gardens around the world, some of which include the Kew Garden, Orto Botanico di Padova, and Keukenhof Tulip Garden. But the one that stuck out the most was Monet's Garden in Giverny. Known as a "painter's garden", this collection of plants leaves it's visitors awestruck with it's beauty. During Monet's time this was not open to the public, but as time passed it grew to be open to appreciators of Impressionism, lovers of botany, and many more. Once you're engulfed in the charm of the colors and fragrances, one can't help but be inspired by the living artwork around them. Apparently, it's allowed to sit along a path and draw to your heart's content, but don't bring paint materials because access is denied to those who have that.
-Admire Gaudi's architecture. Antoni Gaudi's structures are all around Barcelona and his neo-Gothic style is not something one would miss. His most notable work is the Sagrada Familia (yes, the one from The Cheetah Girls 2). Again, architecture is something that intrigues me because of all the thought that goes into structures that are larger than life, but still has intense stylistic influences. Looking at Gaudi's different works such as Casa Batllo, Park Guell (also seen in The Cheetah Girls 2), and Casa Mila leaves me amazed with the creative minds of such architectural geniuses. Besides looking at the gorgeous structures, it makes you think of all the history behind each piece and makes you wonder about Gaudi's muse(s) of his works.
-Island hop in Greece. What can I say, I'm a sucker for beaches. Obviously I would visit the tourist staples such as Santorini and Mykonos, with their infamous white houses with colorful rooftops and doorways. But the attractions that don't get as much attention, such as Red Beach, Akrotiri, and Delos are places that I feel would be a good Instagram post as well. Red Beach has red rock all around it due to the volcanic cliff, and on the south side of the beach, there's black sand (!!!) and Akrotiri and Delos are some withstanding ruins that leaves it's tourists in awe of the sturdy Greek architecture. Other than Santorini and Mykonos the lesser known islands, such as Paros and Corfu, are on my destination list as well. Paros isn't as busy as the main touristy islands, but is still filled with natural beauty, which makes it ideal for relaxing and Corfu is absolutely gorgeous filled with museums and an abundance of green scenery. Hopefully during my visit here I'll stumble upon a big fat Greek wedding.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
39 things to do when dealing with insomia
binge watch a tv show on Netflix (House, M.D.or Grey's Anatomyare ideal)watch The Fundamentals of Caring on Netflixapply the $20 lavender oil you paid for to try and kick theinsomia research anxiety and why you have itclose your eyes and pretend you're asleepmessage your friends at homeresearch all of your physical symptoms on Web M.D.be paranoidthink you're dyingregret your decisiondo homeworkget boredquit start againquit for realbinge watch a different tv show (Big Bang Theory)stalk yourself on Instagramstalk old friends on Instagramstalk old boyfriends on every social media platformregret read a book on anxietyjournal read your Biblepray go through old photosedit old photospost old photos on Instagram with arelatable verse or song lyriclisten to James Bay's albumlook on iTunes to see what the top 40 songs are in the USAlisten to all of these on Spotifystare at the ceilinggo on Pintrest and look up all the food you've been cravingregret eat the last package of Oreos with a bit of peanut butter to appease your stomachgo on Pintrest and look up tattoo placementspractice caligraphy check the weatherfor the indefinite futurewatch every Snapchat story four timesmake a list of things you can do when you can't sleep
I tried doing 101, but I realized that was a bit ambitious because to be completely honest I mostly just watch Netflix or stare at the ceiling. But for real, The Fundamentals of Caring is a great movie. Sorry I haven't been on too much lately. I'm gonna try to be posting more.
Wishing you all restful sleep,
-H
Monday, May 23, 2016
me at 17
LOL WHEN WILL I POST SOMETHING ORIGINAL? WHO KNOWS? because I sure don't know.
So, I was watching some YouTube videos the other day and I came across this gem and decided that this would be a good filler blog post to update all 2 of you about my life, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, etc. This is me at 17.
Currently:
1. Obsessed with- Thirdstory's EP. It's beautiful. LOL JK THEY SUCK DON'T BE A FAN OF THEM. AGAIN, I AM JOKING I JUST WISH THEY COULD BE MY OWN LITTLE SECRET THEY TRULY DESERVE EVERY OUNCE OF FAME THEY'RE RECEIVING I AM JUST BITTER.
2. Reading- Me Before You by Jojo Moyes and The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
3. Doing- Typing this and avoiding studying
4. Listening to- a stupid Spotify ad
Favorites:
5. Color- Mauve
6. Food- The potato. In most forms.
7. Trait about myself- I like to see myself as a sympathetic person
8. Vacation I've been on- Kauai
9. Animal- Koala
10. Feeling- Going to the beach
11. TV Show- It's a tie between Criminal Minds and Jane the Virgin
Least Favorites:
12. Trait about myself- I can be pretty needy
13. Feeling- Failure
What:
14. I'm looking forward to- Going to college!!
15. I'm not looking forward to- The few remaining weeks left of high school. Send help.
16. I did last night- Go through my journals and watch HGTV
Etc.:
17. How I'm feeling- Stressed and tired
So, I was watching some YouTube videos the other day and I came across this gem and decided that this would be a good filler blog post to update all 2 of you about my life, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, etc. This is me at 17.
Currently:
1. Obsessed with- Thirdstory's EP. It's beautiful. LOL JK THEY SUCK DON'T BE A FAN OF THEM. AGAIN, I AM JOKING I JUST WISH THEY COULD BE MY OWN LITTLE SECRET THEY TRULY DESERVE EVERY OUNCE OF FAME THEY'RE RECEIVING I AM JUST BITTER.
2. Reading- Me Before You by Jojo Moyes and The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
3. Doing- Typing this and avoiding studying
4. Listening to- a stupid Spotify ad
Favorites:
5. Color- Mauve
6. Food- The potato. In most forms.
7. Trait about myself- I like to see myself as a sympathetic person
8. Vacation I've been on- Kauai
9. Animal- Koala
10. Feeling- Going to the beach
11. TV Show- It's a tie between Criminal Minds and Jane the Virgin
Least Favorites:
12. Trait about myself- I can be pretty needy
13. Feeling- Failure
What:
14. I'm looking forward to- Going to college!!
15. I'm not looking forward to- The few remaining weeks left of high school. Send help.
16. I did last night- Go through my journals and watch HGTV
Etc.:
17. How I'm feeling- Stressed and tired
Monday, April 4, 2016
hi i'm unoriginal, but you can call me sam
Yup, it has been a few months since I last posted, and I greatly apologize to all 2 of you that read my posts. Anyway, C posted something pretty cool and as per usual, I decided to write something very similar. So, my friends, here is my list:
good driver/looks good driving: +5
loves board games: +10
organized: +10
appreciates the 80's: +10
loves road trips: +10
does spot-on impressions/accents: +10
will break out into song with me: +20
appreciates the beach/ocean: +20
smells good: +20
has quality fashion sense: +20
has manners: +20
writes poetry: +20
multilingual: +20
is an INFJ: +25
up-to-date with current issues: +20
good with kids: +30
has goals: +30
likes to paint: +30
knows how to make and fix things/tech savvy: +30
loves Harry Potter as much as I do: +30
athletic: +30 (additional +10 if he plays basketball and/or soccer)
has similar music taste: +30
spontaneous: +30
decent cook: +30
sociable: +30
more than decent photographer: +40
cultured: +40
empathetic/sympathetic: +40
looks good after a haircut: +40
loves animals: +40
5'10"-6': +40
knows the choreography of the final dance from DD: +40
hilarious: +40
loves his family: +40
doesn't do small talk: +40
knows how to swing dance/salsa/cha cha/can also teach me how to do said dances: +50
is musically inclined: +50 (additional +10 if he plays the piano, cello, drums, and/or alto sax, +15 if he sings well)
has similar taste in houses (after watching all these couples bicker on House Hunters, I think it's for the best): +55
will not frick frack till marriage: +90
"true" (for lack of a better word) Catholic: +100
likes country music: -20
wears socks and sandals: -20
doesn't know how to crop dust: -30
burps in public: -30
has hair longer than me: -30
spits: -30
litters: -30
leaves toilet seat up: -40
chews obnoxiously loud with mouth open: -40
sneezes in his hands (honestly, what kind of monster are you): -40
totally dependent on his mother: -40
gym rat: -40
arrogant: -40
ignorant: -50
privileged: -50
chews with mouth open: -50
short temper: -60
selfish: -60
always has to be right: -60
neutral about anything: -70
liar: -70
overbearingly protective: -70
always makes up excuses: -70
doesn't take responsibility: -70
has any fetishes: -90
addicted to drugs and/or alcohol: -100
abusive: -100
racist: -100
good driver/looks good driving: +5
loves board games: +10
organized: +10
appreciates the 80's: +10
loves road trips: +10
does spot-on impressions/accents: +10
will break out into song with me: +20
appreciates the beach/ocean: +20
smells good: +20
has quality fashion sense: +20
has manners: +20
writes poetry: +20
multilingual: +20
is an INFJ: +25
up-to-date with current issues: +20
good with kids: +30
has goals: +30
likes to paint: +30
knows how to make and fix things/tech savvy: +30
loves Harry Potter as much as I do: +30
athletic: +30 (additional +10 if he plays basketball and/or soccer)
has similar music taste: +30
spontaneous: +30
decent cook: +30
sociable: +30
more than decent photographer: +40
cultured: +40
empathetic/sympathetic: +40
looks good after a haircut: +40
loves animals: +40
5'10"-6': +40
knows the choreography of the final dance from DD: +40
hilarious: +40
loves his family: +40
doesn't do small talk: +40
knows how to swing dance/salsa/cha cha/can also teach me how to do said dances: +50
is musically inclined: +50 (additional +10 if he plays the piano, cello, drums, and/or alto sax, +15 if he sings well)
has similar taste in houses (after watching all these couples bicker on House Hunters, I think it's for the best): +55
will not frick frack till marriage: +90
"true" (for lack of a better word) Catholic: +100
likes country music: -20
wears socks and sandals: -20
doesn't know how to crop dust: -30
burps in public: -30
has hair longer than me: -30
spits: -30
litters: -30
leaves toilet seat up: -40
chews obnoxiously loud with mouth open: -40
sneezes in his hands (honestly, what kind of monster are you): -40
totally dependent on his mother: -40
gym rat: -40
arrogant: -40
ignorant: -50
privileged: -50
chews with mouth open: -50
short temper: -60
selfish: -60
always has to be right: -60
neutral about anything: -70
liar: -70
overbearingly protective: -70
always makes up excuses: -70
doesn't take responsibility: -70
has any fetishes: -90
addicted to drugs and/or alcohol: -100
abusive: -100
racist: -100
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